


Warm Sands

by pallysuune



Series: The Son of Tirragen [2]
Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Alex is a mess, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Let's just leave it at that, M/M, snuggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 17:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20979566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pallysuune/pseuds/pallysuune
Summary: Alanna banished herself from court, and she took Alexander of Tirragen with her. The Great Southern Desert seemed a world away from Corus, and that was what they both needed.Though Alanna settles in well among the Bazhir, Alex continues to struggle to figure out what to do with himself now.





	Warm Sands

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really glad people seemed to like the first part of this series. I really wish Alex had gotten some more development, so I'm going to try my hand at giving him some. 
> 
> Not sure if I'll dip back into some of his time with Roger or not, we'll see. Rating may have to go up if I do. 
> 
> Until then, I hope you guys enjoy this next part.

The warmth of the sand against his skin more than made up for the fact that it was all in his hair and in every fold and crease of his clothes. The Bazhir looked at him like he was insane, but no more so than they looked at Alanna. She was the reason they were even welcomed there, the Woman Who Rides Like a Man, with her students and her magic. He had to admit, she was really rather impressive. How she could turn everything on it’s head just by being own stubborn self. Of course, none of that had to do with Alex. As far as he was concerned, he was simply along for the ride. 

It was still late afternoon, when the sun began to feel bearable again, and he was laid out in the sand on his back, soaking in every inch of warmth the sand had to give him. It was so different here than Tirragen, or even Corus. It was refreshing. For a little while, he could pretend that the last eight years were just a dream. A dream and a nightmare. It was like none of it ever happened. He’d never been in love, he’d never been manipulated, he’d never been eyed for treason. It was just him, and his sword, and the sun, and - 

Someone stepped a little too close to him and a shuffle of sand flurried into his face. Dark eyes slid open, squinting against the light. It threw her into shadow, but the glint of red hair was impossible to miss. 

-and Alanna, apparently.

“I didn’t realize you were out here,” she said, sitting down in the sand beside him. 

A languid hum slid from his lips as he closed his eyes again. “It’s usually too hot for this.”

He liked the sun. He liked the warmth. Tirragen had a mild climate. And situated on the largest lake in the country, there were often storms of coolness that came from the lake itself. The sun and sand, such a far cry from a place he had such mixed feelings about, just furthered that feeling of disconnect from the rest of his life. 

“That’s why most people aren’t foolish enough to lay out in the desert sun,” Alanna snorted. 

“You can say crazy, you know.” He didn’t look at her as he said it, and his voice was light, but there was a weight to the words. It had been thrown around so much. Crazy for laying unprotected in the desert sun. Crazy for his obsessive pursuits in swordplay. Crazy for following Roger. Crazy, crazy, crazy. He was beginning to believe that they might be right. How else could he explain everything?

“You’re not crazy,” Alanna huffed. It seemed almost petulant, but spoken so flatly, like it was some sort of immutable truth and she wouldn’t even consider any other option. It amused him, reminded him of when they’d both been young. Some things never changed. 

Alex drawled another hum, but didn’t offer any other answer. Wasn’t he? He, who was groomed and manipulated and charmed by a man and yet still missed him? If that wasn’t insanity, Alex didn’t know what was. And that was another reason for his lazing - he had trouble sleeping, and was tired more often than he liked. Even now, months after leaving Corus, he still had dreams about Roger. At times, they were nearly comforting. Other times, he woke, shaken at finding himself alone in his bed. He was doing better. He didn’t feel so much like he was held together only by twine and string any longer, but at times he still felt vaguely like a clay doll that had begun to flake and crack. 

“Hakim said he saw you out with your sword after everyone had retired last night,” Alanna said carefully, glancing down at him. 

This time, Alex looked up at her fully. Where the dessert had been kind to him, darkening his already dusky skin to a richer tone, it had left her red, even with the burnoose she wore to protect herself. The sun was not her friend, clearly. He wondered idly if it was just heat that pinkened her cheeks, or if they were burnt. It took him a moment to answer her. “Did he?”

He wouldn’t deny he had been if she asked him, but he wasn’t going to offer the information. Wasn’t going to tell her that he’d done it many times since they’d come to the desert. That he dreamed less when he wore himself out. 

Alanna frowned, watching him, waiting for him to say more. When he didn’t, she sighed and glanced away, her eyes roaming across the sand dunes, lit up orange in the evening light. “You know, all I ever wanted was to be a knight errant. I dreamed about it when I was young. I wanted to go on adventures and right wrongs and protect people. And now it’s here and…” She trailed off, frowning. 

Dark eyes regarded her in silence for a few seconds. “It’s not what you expected.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement, and she nodded. He understood. So very little of anything was what he’d expected, too. If nothing else, he certainly never anticipated being where he was, laying on the side of a sand dune with a woman who’d hidden away her gender in order to gain a shield and killed his lover only months before. 

The word ‘crazy’ came to mind again. 

“What did you dream about?” Alanna asked without looking at him. 

The sun would be slipping beneath the horizon soon, and the temperature would go down quickly after that. 

“Anything, as long as it wasn’t being a lord,” he answered after a few moments. Of course, that hadn’t exactly worked. He was the Lord of Tirragen, after his father had died a few years back, even if he left the workings of the fief to a seneschal. He needed to go back there, but he was in no hurry to do so. He liked mathematics and was good at them, but running a fief, sitting at a desk day in and day out with ink and letters and ledger wasn’t what he’d ever wanted for his life. He had a talent with a sword, and he worked to perfect that. He loved it. He was sure that he would die slowly without it when he had to give up his focus on fencing to run Tirragen. 

Alanna was looking at him, and he tried to ignore it. 

“Why don’t you come to my tent? We can share a drink and talk some more,” she offered finally. 

Alex looked toward the setting sun for a minute, frowning, considering, before he finally nodded. He hauled himself up and dusted his hands off. Soft sand grains rained down off him as he shook his tunic and raked his fingers through dark, curly hair. Alanna snorted a laugh from beside him. “You’d be buried if you stayed out here any longer.” 

“Worse ways to go,” he shrugged, tossing his head back and forth to dislodge any remaining sand. Only then, did he pause and glance down at her, an eyebrow arched. The lady knight shook her head and rose, swiping her hands against her breeches before leading him back to the cluster of tents and hanging carpet walls. 

He’d never actually been in her tent before, prefering to stick to his own small one rather than poke into the shaman’s abode she’d inherited. He glanced around now, eyes roaming over the loom and carpets and bed. He settled onto one of the rugs as she pulled out two cups and a waterskin. Alex waved off the cups - it wasn’t as if he cared that much about sharing the same drink with her. For a moment, it looked like she might argue with him, but then she just shrugged, uncapping the skin to take a sip before offering it to him. 

“You have trouble sleeping.” Alanna wasn’t asking him a question. She was stating a fact. Another immutable truth from her. 

Alex didn’t answer her, he just took a slow sip of the fresh, clean water, before sitting down with the waterskin in his lap. 

“...Alex?”

“I do,” he sighed. She wasn’t about to let this go. She was more stubborn than anyone he’d ever met and when she got something into her head, she wouldn’t let it go. Even if that was helping him, for whatever reason. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” she ventured carefully, her eyes locked on him the whole time. 

“No.”

Alanna sighed. Silence fell between them for a few minutes, and Alex was content to let it stay like that. The other knight wasn’t. She sighed heavily after a moment. “You know, when I was young and had a hard time sleeping, I always had an easier time if I slept in the same bed as my brother.” She said it in such a casual way, as if she didn’t really care if Alex was paying attention to her or not. She was rarely ever that careful with what she said. Though he waited for her to say more, Alanna remained silent after that. 

“Are you offering?” he asked finally. He glanced over and met her eyes. She just looked at him for a second before shrugging. 

Alex’s expression softened just a touch. He’d never admit he needed that kind of comfort, or that it sounded nice. Those days, he had little left but his pride, and he guarded it fiercely. But there was an appeal in the thought. Even after he’d come through his Ordeal, he’d spent many a night in another’s bed. Roger’s. 

Would sharing her bed make things better, or worse?

Roger had often said he thought too much, that it inhibited him. He had tried to not allow it so much, and so he tried to put the concerns out of his mind, finally nodding to the unspoken offer. A smile spread over Alanna’s face and she nodded, moving over to her bed and sat to pull off her boots. Alex arched a brow, amusement warming his dark eyes. “It’s still early.”

She shot him a sharp look. It looked like half a frown and half a pout to him. He had to try not to smile. “So?” she demanded. “If you haven’t been sleeping, it’s better to go to bed early.” 

He chuckled softly and shook his head. Alanna was a stubborn woman, and he knew she’d keep needling him if he didn’t go along with it. He had no desire to argue with her over something like sleeping early, so he just tugged off his own boots, slid off his sword belt and moved over to sit, and then lie, on her bed. Alanna stretched out beside him. For a moment, that was all she did, and then, carefully, she reached over for him, tugging on his arm to encourage him closer. He went with it. Alex rolled onto his side, wrapping an arm around her waist, his head resting on her chest. She wound her arms around him, running her fingers through his hair. 

“...you have sand in your hair.” 

A smile spread broadly over his lips. 

He slept better that night. And when the dreams came, they weren’t so difficult to deal with.


End file.
